Dear You …


Dear you,

It’s been almost a year ago when your niece came to me and introduced you to me. Your niece told me how perfect you are as a man and showed me your photo in her phone. My mom saw it, too, and my mom was the one who said, “Why don’t you just try this one? He’s handsome.” Well, mom, I didn’t look for a handsome face in this age of mine, I told myself that time. I don’t like such thing, you know, let someone else finds me someone to date with, that’s not my style at all. That makes me feel so desperate that I need other to help me to get out of a singleness―I don’t even know if there’s such word.  But then, I found myself didn’t refuse that “help”. Yeah, so surprising, even for me myself.

First time we met was in front of your office. Actually, I was just curious about you in flesh because I am not someone who believes in what I see on picture. So, I used that apply-for-job trick―remember, you offered me to apply on your office when I resigned from my previous job―and I found out that you were just better in flesh and it scared me, honestly. It scared me because I knew that you’d be surrounded by many girls who adore you―and it has been proven by the time―and I never wanted to waste my time with someone as good-looking as you because I knew that I would have a long list of broken heart.

However, time flies.

It wasn’t easy at first. I didn’t know you had someone at that time, but, well, I also wasn’t trying because a half of me still didn’t want to know you―because you weren’t someone that I found by myself. I kept telling myself that he’s there when he’s there, if he’s not, then he’s not―he would call me first if he’s serious about wanting to know me. I can say that it works because if it doesn’t work, there will be no a very long texting every single day now😛

Hey you,

I’ve met and known many guys before you, but you are really one of a billion. Don’t you know that you are the first guy―the very first guy in 23 years of my life―who has met my parents as my official boyfriend? I hope you are proud of this fact because you seriously are. You are the very first boyfriend who can pick me up at home with my mom standing on the terrace seeing us go spend the Saturday night and ride me home over 10 pm and my mom doesn’t angry at all. How surprising! You are also the very first someone-not-family who calls my mom with mom. It is always me, my brother, my sister, and, sometimes, my father who calls my mom mom.  You know what, my mom feels happy when she hears you call her so, even until now. She may feel it’s fun to have a new son😀

You are the very first guy who takes me to so many different mosques to pray, you even had twice become my imam during prayer. It left a deep impression to me. No one EVER do so to me, but you. You are the very first guy who walk with me in the biggest mall in town wear sandals and I like how humble you are. You are the very first guy who doesn’t only take me to mall every single weekend. We’ve been to beach to see the sunset, eating at roadside stalls, eating roasted corn out of town, experiencing get soaked due to heavy rain―twice―, and I am waiting for the next things about enjoying life from you.

Do you remember that afternoon, only an hour to Maghrib, when your face became so red like a boiled crab? That was the first time I experienced what people say with “butterflies in stomach”. Felt weird, but delightful. That moment had bring us to today when we try to make a year from now worth waiting to open a gate of our future ahead.

My dear,

We don’t know what future holds for us, but the problem we face now, I hope it will not get you away from me. I hear people always say that good intentions always have many obstacles and we never expected for such thing to happen to us, but who did? We know, no life with no problem, but I believe this one should be a lesson that it wont be easy, but as long we are together, we can get through everything. With your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul, I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go, that’s what Justin Timberlake said and I second him for that lyric of Mirrors―my favorite song now for reminding me of you all the time, but I prefer the one sang by Boyce Avenue feat. Fifth Harmony, anyway. You should listen to it, too.

I do wish none of us will give up on each other just because of this problem. I’ve spent few days crying on my prayers because that’s how afraid I am of losing you. Do you feel afraid of losing me, too? I do wish we to fight together, we fight for love we build together, for future we dream together. You know, impossible to find someone who confess and propose at the same time like you. I’ve told you about it, you laughed. I believe Allah SWT will always be there to help and to keep us if we never tired to try and pray.

I love you.

With Love,

Me.

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